Black (+) Blue

Buckle. Yes buckle, crack, snap and let all the cards fall down. You could only hold up this decaying house for so long so, do it. Take that knife sitting on the counter and take a decisive swings across your neck. Your polluted blood will splatter against the wall. If you slice deep enough you won’t feel a thing as your knees knock against the ground.  I promise it will only hurt a little;  the emotional fallout will not compare to this shame you feel when you look upon this emaciated face.
No. I will not let three letters define me. Well three letters and a +. Am I really less of a man if there’s a + in my make up?  Will it show up on a x-ray? What does it mean exactly? So what I have to actually take care of myself, see a doctor regularly and watch what I put in my body? Is that so bad? Shouldn’t I be doing that in the first place? What is so bad about a +?
WAIT. I can answer that. The pain of another man shutting me down just because of a + or -, the sunken-in face. The constant worry of am I going to infect someone that I care about, the constant body aches, the dog tired feeling you get in the middle of a day. The  ever present question of “Am I going to lose control of my bowels in public today?”.The shame and confusion you get from your family, and that’s even if you tell your family. The annoying fat that turns up on your body in the most unflattering places.
Ok so there’s a lot of negatives to a +; still is it worth my life?.
[Breath]
I am worth my life. Bring on the chains and whips of this plague. I’ve got the leather gear to handle it.  Yes,it’s my own business , but its also  something I’ve overcome; yet still in a constant battle with, with no winner crowned, just a survivor notarized.I’m living  my life, not letting my life live me.  So I’ll take my (+) brand w/PRIDE