Lights up. We see a stool center, with a bowl on it; this bowl is full of large red pills. The rest of the stage is bare but for a table and two chairs down stage left. A man in a lab coat walks out; he looks too young for his coat, yet he’s earned the right to wear it. He picks up a pill, considers eating it, begins to, stops and places it back in the bowl. He looks up, takes a very deep breath. He looks back out at the audience. .
Doc: Religion is the tool that separates humanity from God. God never intended for people to gather on one day of the week to whoop, stomp and holler his greatness. This event is purely a construct of society to infect opinion and create a mob, a focused obedient abiding mob. The Bible, Torah, and Quran all preach the necessity of a person’s personal dialogue with God, and the danger of foreign filters. So why are we as Man so dependant on such a buffer?(Priests/Ministers/Shaas/Rabbi’s and so forth) Are we that terrified of what God will say? Love and Fear are so close in the Brain that we are convinced in the community they are one in the same. Or just the possiblity of not being loved(Looks up and yells) Why am I Here? Beat. Back with us. I am here to share a simple experiment, a few experiences and the hole in humanities heart that begins and ends in “Why are we here?”. Mirror neurons, they are the biological proof of empathy and envy. Simply if you were to see me stab myself right now a set of neurons would simulate the reality of a knife entering your stomach at a level that was painless to you. Scientist for ages, have been trying to invent a synthetic immediate empathy. I believe in this here red pill I have success. Come along and lets discover if I’m right.
Lights fade as Doc finishes his speech, lights rise downstage left on a Deco Minimal kitchen done in Blush and Blue. Shelby enters humming, she is in her mid twenties, stout, with brown hair and bright eyes (the race of this woman is not important, only her fervor of the Spirit) Shelby begins to set the table as Toby enters, a man who looks like hes in his thirties but in all honesty is 45. There has been work down on this man, A tough of grey, has only been left to distinguish that he and the world know he is Wise. Shelby is Setting the table and serving his dinner (a roast and potatoes, the starting action is Shelby carving meat) as he reads the paper. Doc Watches as the Kitchen comes into focus, the lights are dim as the dinner goes on and only bump up on as he gives/interjects his opinion/observations. The Lights find it hard to keep up.
Toby: Do you believe these Iranians, and how they are refusing to allow the U.N to inspect their Reactors?
Shelby: Well Obama assures that they are just using nuclear energy for utility purposes.
Toby: Obama is nothing but a Keyan who’s rich enough to get his birth certificate changed.
Shelby: Now you know that couldn’t be true Toby.
Toby: (grabs her hand with the knife in it and turns it to her) I’ll not have that sort of talk at my table.
Doc: Testy
Shelby: Understood.
Toby releases her, and resumes his paper, Shelby finishes carving the meat quickly and serves Toby and her own plate. She Sits. They kneel their heads to Pray
Toby: Lord we come to you with Heavy Hearts
Doc: If I may for a little bit just offer a little spoiler alert. Toby is the head of the local newly fashioned Tea Party, and my prime test subject, I figure I might as well try it out on a good and strong Conservative. Ok You can Pray now.
Toby: Heavy Laden Hearts that knowing the only way to lighten our burden is by coming to you in praise. Before we enjoy this beautiful dinner prepared by my lovely Shelby at your direction.Lord, I want to ask you to rid the world of Iranians and tell that Obama that his days are numbered,for Rommney comes to slaughter his un- American behind. I know that you will see that this term his Osama’s last. Also, please teach our fellow man to love and worship your holy throne. For it is only though you that we are led out of temptation and the darkness. Help those who stray from your holy path Lord and bring them into the light. I know you’ll do my last bidding and bless Shelby and I with a Son. This all in your Son’s Holy name Jesus do we pray...
Shelby/Toby/Doc: Amen
Lights Fade on DSR and come back full on our Doctor. As he speaks. A Park is created Downstage right much like the one in Churchill’s Cloud 9 with a giant swing being the center piece. This will be the last scene of the play, feel free to dystroy the Kitchen to make the park, actually that makes good theatre so do just that. Doctors Speech is not mic’d over the demolishing of the kitchen, so no worries. As the Park is assembled Doc walks from center to the Swing which is DSL( or wherever you need it to be so the production works)
Doc: I implanted one of my world famous pills into the roast. After ingestion Toby lost all of his convictions, left his church and began running a brothel in Mexico City. This next scene has nothing to do with Toby, Toby is dead (at the hands of his whores) as a doornail. It’s about Shelby. She Left Me. After all I did to free her from that Son of a Bitch Husband the Woman left me. Told me I was too experimental and that I had no Real Vision for the future. Well fuck her because I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone. Well thats another lie, and I can’t lie because at the end of my last Bull Ring I took one of my own pills. It’s well enough. So here we find me, in the last scene, Alone. (sung) For ALLLOONNE Is ALONE Not ALLLooonnnnne. Damn Sondheim can’t even make me happy, this shit sucks...
Doc continues mumbling to himself about Musical theatre and how its a bunch of stupid crap as Andy enters from stage right and notices this wreck of a man talking to himself. He takes his time with this one. Sidebar: Andy has just sunk his pimp,(obviously this is a park) and successfully erased his identity, the only stipulation placed on him by the IRS/SEC is that he wed one man, and stay with him. Andy thinks he just found the one. Doc has just talked himself in the 15th circle and is a puddle on one side of the swing.
Andy: Excuse Me, Do you need a tissue?
Doc: Only if it is has the cure to depression.
Andy (sprinkles something in the tissue and hands it to Doc): I think I got it.
Doc: Thanks
Andy: You don’t have to thank me
Doc wipes his nose and is transported to another plateau. This should be highlighted by some techno/light event.
Doc: Woah
Andy: I’ve gotten better than Woah, but i’ll let it slide, this time..
Doc: What was that???
Andy: My Cure for depression, some Cocaine, a little E and just a sprinkle of K. I used it to help me get through having sex with the Olsen twins one January.
Doc (leveling/laughing): Do you always talk like that? I mean You must have not really slept with them? I mean you look like the gayest thing.
Andy: The Greeks and Romans believed that the only reason Men slept with women was to reproduce, but true love between two men should be the ultimate aspiration of any Artist. You’re that Scientist that fixed the world of Fundamentalism right? Well I’m the man that fixed the world of Sexual perversion.
Doc: Tell me How you did that.
Andy: Come closer so I don’t have to kill the other people listening to my voice.
Doc: What people?
Andy: The Audience Dumbass
Doc: Oh I don’t consider them people
Andy: That’s Hot.
Doc: You were telling me something.
Andy: I was. Well I led people to their truest deepest desires, which is to pleasure themselves. Even at the expense of other people and themselves but that goes without saying. basically I used to be a prostitute but, I’ve hung up my thong, well actually I choked my pimp with it, which was ok cause the police said I could rough him up a bit before they broke in and took him down. Do you like strawberry cream cheese I just love it.
Doc: WoW
Andy: Ringo
Doc: Could we?
Andy: Yea
Doc: I need you
Andy: I choose you
Doc: Now
Andy: Lets wait. I’m tired of them knowing everything
Doc: You’re Right.
Andy: But Lets Set an Example
they kiss for 2 beats
Andy: Woah
Doc: One time
Kiss
Andy:Wow
Doc: I hear you say that to someone else and it’s your head.
Doc and Andy link hands and exit stage left.
End of Play.
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