The asexual Glasnost or the violent pleasure of the autumn breeze

The Asexual Glasnost or the violent pleasure of the Autumn breeze

By: Nicholas Andrew  

Introduction: “For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

U Look TIRED

Autonomic functions fuck up

Absence is your closest companion

Ascension seems impossible

Acclimation becomes your primary tactic

Work-Bathe-Work-out-Bathe=Pretend to be Amused

REPEAT

LOOK

Letting go of Love is a foil of humanity

My first and last addiction

The ultimate punishment.

JANKY

Mariposa teach ME how to love the breeze as I did the cocoon

How did you maintain?

What am I trying to prove?

That I’m not just a cute face mouth open

That’s not an answer.

Ok Here Goes,

Research that betters peoples knowledge of the world.

To do that one must learn life’s lessons as they come

Not rush into that which is perilous but simply live

Paralysis doesn’t mean you stop living

Still not an answer.

That’s the answer. I dont know what I’m trying to prove.

Which is why I explain all my actions/thoughts/opinions

to try and figure out

it’s too much for one mind

Not the point

Sacred

Maybe that’s what Im trying to prove

That living by love is the way

Does it matter? Figure.

Missing out on Hip Hop

shhhh

Function on a low frequency  

So you laugh at your dreams

empty your spread of dirt

Empty the tower of secrets, for there’s no honor in deception

Build an Honest monument to Love

shhhh

Comp

Post

gliding on a silver spoon

pea soup hits the floor

still makes happy faces

why do we forget.

There’s no hope in pretending not to make sense

There’s no hope in pretending

There’s no hope in just pretending

There’s no hope in pretending not to pretend

There’s no hope in trying not to pretend to pretend

There’s no hope in pretending to stop pretending

There’s no hope in pretending not to care about pretending

There’s no hope in pretending that pretending doesn’t matter

there’s no hope in pretending that everybody else pretends

there’s no hope in pretending that everybody else doesn’t pretend as much as you do

there’s no hope in pretending that that everybody else doesn’t see you pretending

there’s no hope in pretending that everybody else doesn’t like you better when you pretend

there’s no hope in pretending that everybody likes you when you pretend

So stop pretending

A DANCE UNDER A BLUE LIGHT

Alex strolled through the red lit corridors of  cold slate  floors with his towel about his waist. Peeping into the rooms, searching for his next fix. He is no stranger to the culture of a bathhouse, even though his baby face tells a different tale. A billow of smoke rises out of room 114 and he knocks on the door. His towel drops to the floor as the door creaks open and Jake invites him in. Jake strokes his cock pipe in mouth while Alex bends over and spreads his cheeks revealing a cleanly shaven hole.

Jake: Come in.

Alex: Danke.

Jake: Bitte.

Alex: May I have a puff?

Jake: Only if you sit on my face as you blow.

Alex: A man after my own heart.

Alex closes the door and then straddles Jake's face. Jake hands him the pipe and lighter. Alex takes a long draw from the pipe and exhales a massive plume.

Jake: You taste like honey.

Alex: Will you fuck it?

Jake: Only if I can blow smoke up your hole first.

Alex: Now how many times does a man offer to blow smoke up your ass and you actually want it?

Jake: Perfect.

20 minutes pass as does the pipe while Jake eats Alex.

Jake: Now that we are good and high let me fuck you.

Alex: Of course.

Jake: One question.

Alex: Shoot.

Jake: Where do you like your cum.

Alex: In me. Otherwise I consider it a waste.

Jake: A man after my own heart.

Alex: Are you saying that you would've cum anywhere else?

Jake: Well...

Alex: It's ok.

Jake: Good. We agree.

Alex lays on his back and spreads his legs. Jake moves in between them spits on his dick then slides into Alex. As he does Alex lets out a small moan.

Jake: Damn. I may just have to keep you.

Alex: I'm all yours until you decide to cast me away.

Jake: Take another puff. I want to feel your hole twitch.

Alex: Yes Sir.

He does. As the fucking progresses the two stop smoking and get down to business. Then there is a shift as they stare into the others dilated pupils. Jake's pace slows to a steady pound then grows to quicker one then back again. Alex gets hard and begins to stroke his own dick. As one climaxes the other follows and it is unclear which one came first. Jake falls onto Alex and they share a breath then with no warning he slips out of Alex and turns him over onto his stomach and licks his hole clean.

Alex: Danke.

Jake: Bitte.

What really makes the one person better than another?

Opinion or actions

Do we come by our perceptions based upon the past or the acclimation of the present?

Go car Go

Maybe if I think myself far enough into the ground I’ll die?  

Go car Go

We know nothing but what we make ourselves seek after

The question is the horizon we chase.

You only say “I Hate You” to the guys that you really love.

I Hate you for taking me into the dark room

I Hate you for making me share our sex with the rest of the world

I Hate you for making me realize I just want you

I Hate You for respecting my mother

I Hate You for surrounding me with  hoes so I see I’m not one

I Hate You for kissing so deep that’s all I want

I Hate You for not believing my lies

I Hate You for turning the radio down so that you can listen to me talk

I love you too

Really I Hate You

#Autumn

Jose opens his eyes to see the red rear lights of the car in front of him. His eyes close again and he begins to wonder why the man to his left is so kind to him. Of all the random gentlemen that have courted him in the past why has he repeatedly spent time with this one. Maybe it’s the way his stubble graces  his cheek?  The way he kisses him? Yes that must be it. Like he means it and what surprises Jose the most is that he kisses him back with the same intent. Is this what To be honest he doesn’t believe he can fall again there’s too many scrapes on his knees. Still as they pull up to his house, Jose doesn’t want to get out, he just wants to spend the night in his arms repeating the stumble of  that goodnight kiss. “You know someone asked me tonight if you were my husband” said Jose

Him: Oh

Jose: I said no, he’s not my husband

Him: That was just his way of figuring out if you were single or not.

Jose: It’s just weird that people assume that about us.

Him: He was into you, that’s all it meant.

Jose: I had a good time tonight

Him: So did I beautiful.

Jose: Really though I think it says something when random people assume we’re married.

Him: Why do you feel you have to get married?

Jose: I didn’t say that, I like the idea of it.

Him: Do you think it will happen?

Jose: Yes it’ll probably happen when I stop looking for it, or expecting it to happen

Him: Things that make you go Hmmm.

They look at the other for a long second

Jose: Where is my hat?

Him: On the floor.

After Jose gathers his things in his arms they wrap each other in a tight embrace and kiss with their eyes open. As Jose walks towards his door he finds himself unable to think of any prolific question or witty remark. Only the image of his watery eyes as they said good night laid on his mind.Still Jose stood stone silent at his  door, he looked to his car and waved.

GIVE NADA TOCA EVERYTHING

I give up making excuses

I give up making you feel good about yourself

I give up trying to make songs about the color of your eyes

I give up singing

I give up writing

I give up walking

I give up getting high

I give up telling you I love you

I give up pain

I give up food

I give up getting out of bed before noon

I give up staying up all night

I give up painting

I give up music

I give up taking long walks

I give up guessing what shapes the clouds make

I give up making love

I dont give up fucking

I dont give up saying fuck

I do give up saying fuck in public

I give up

I give away my free will

I do not give up my intelligence

I give love to people who were deprived

Jesus is DEAD. Andrew Remains.

Fuck sleep.

PHAT

Trey never felt pretty. He knew he was handsome or so his mother told him but by modern standards he was not. He had a large forehead, a protruding jaw, small features, narrow shoulders with a large waist, pencil legs, no but, a large belly, and acne. His hair however was wavy, a reasonable length, and well kept; he even had the sides shaved now to keep on trend. Trey had a wonderful and attractive personality and always found himself with a bevy of friends of all kinds. Not just the usual surface relationships, but meaningful ones. His romantic life was as barren as a South American desert (Yes they have deserts there, Google it). Girls usually just wanted to be friends and Men told him that he was not their type. After he reached 17 he knew that it was his personality that was going to find him his life long mate and as far as the physical, well God have him hands. This is how he maintained himself until he was 27 (A long time, right?). Of course he had lost his virginity by this time but as far as the love of his life was concerned he might as well be on Mercury and He/She on Earth, or so he felt. Trey was almost thrown into cardiac arrest when he saw Nell at the gas station counter.

Nell: Can I help you?

Trey: Um...

Nell: Um what?

Trey: I just want this.

Trey pushed his morning energy drink and honey bun towards her

Nell: Sure thing Sir.

Trey: Could you say that again?

Nell: Sure thing.

Trey: No the whole thing.

Nell: Sure thing Sir.

Trey: That's the first time I think I've heard some one say 'Sir' to me and meant it.

Nell: Uh, you're welcome...

Trey: I'm sorry its just you're so beautiful.

Nell: I don't feel that way.

Trey: Neither do I.

Nell: I don't think anyone does, really.

Trey: Oh I'm sure that they do.

Nell: Why are you so sure?

Trey: Because they can see it in the mirror, because they tell others that they know they are pretty.

Nell: Still that doesn't mean they believe it. Don't you know how it feels to believe something inside.

Trey: I'm not sure I do.

"Could you hurry it up, I've got to get to work. " Balked the man behind Trey.

Nell: $6.21

Trey: I mean how do you really know anything?

Nell: Debit or Credit. Well are your pants blue?

Trey: Credit. Yes, but you know what I mean.

Nell: I was just being funny. You have a nice day.

Trey: You too. What time do you get off?

Nell: Noon.

Trey: I'll see you then.

P

You know when you hear something great how you just feel light

Your whole being feels light

Organs begin to pulse along to the beat

Everything around you dissolves as your soul melds with an outside virus

Product is meaningless

Only the feeling

Please Dont Stop

Nothing else matters but this H of the ears

Please Dont Stop

You Praise Allah that someone outside yourself managed to sing that tune you didn’t know existed

Please Dont Stop

This is when the track ends

So your mind keeps the beat going on it’s own until you

Shoot Up

Gin & Tonic

Nev came to the realization that she was never going to show up. So he took the red flower out of his lapel and drank the rest of his vodka tonic. Why would someone carry on with him for 3 years on the internet only to bail out of the moment of physical contact. Maybe she came in and thought that he was hideous? Or that she was too hideous to be seen with him? Cowardice keeps all people from following their true heart’s desires. Did she mean to make him feel this way? So hopeless. Not about love or even the relationship but about people in general. Nev would now have no solid faith in people, did she mean to wreck him so? Did she ever exist? Is she watching him right now? Is she even a she? Just then a fairly handsome man sits in the chair opposite Nev and says “ I was about to leave once I saw you put the flower down, then I thought maybe I could make this man feel better”

Nev: What?

Nick: You just got stood up right?

Nev: Is it that obvious?

Nick: I only recognized because I’ve been there myself

Nev: Have you.

Nick: Can I buy you a drink?

Nev: Sure

Nick: Vodka or Gin tonic? I just know it was clear.

Nev: Vodka

Nick: Alright

Nick goes and return with two clear drinks.

Nev: We’re twins.

Nick: What?

Nev: We both drink Vodka tonics.

Nick: Oh this is Gin, but I’ve always wanted a twin.

Nev: So you could make up a language?

Nick: Um get out of my head.

Nev: Only say it cause that’s why I wanted one

Nick: And so you could see what your orgasam face looks like.

They laugh

Nev: Have we met before?

Nick: Yeah I’m the woman you were supposed to meet here tonight.

Nev then downs the rest of his fresh drink while keeping eye contact with his new friend.

Nev: You’re sick.

Nick: Am I?

Nev: I’m not gay.

Nick: Neither am I.

Nev: So why pretend to be a woman?

Nick: I’ve always wanted to know how it felt to be in power in a relationship

Nev: I should fucking beat your ass.

Nick: Probably and I’m not saying I don’t deserve it, but just hear me out ok?

Nev: Ok.

Nick: I know how deeply a man can love and I’m a nice guy and I’ve always wanted to feel that returned. So yeah I catfished you into a relationship but  only to feel that love as deep as a man’s adoration. Thus one right here is one of the complete relationships I have ever been a part of. And really isn’t that what we want as men? To be loved and treated how we love and treat our best friends? So now we’ve got a chance to do justthat Nev. I’m not saying we have to fuck, I’m saying that we get to love each other.

Nev: First I’m still going to beat your ass and second, I love you too. Now go get me another drink.

Nick goes and when he returns Nev has the rose back in his lapel. The two share a laugh.

XXVI

As I washed my youth off this morning

I didn’t feel older or wiser, Just my age

Always skinny

Babyfaced with the soul of a forty year old

Broken Heart mended

I smiled to myself

no lie.

NIGHTLY

I search for him

Will he be at the end of my mouse?

[click]

I know its silly to think I'll find him by these means

But there's always the hope for a miracle

I wonder if tonight is my lucky night.

[click]

The rush when I get a reply never ceases to thrill me

my playlist of hunting music gets longer as the night falls away

Everyone tries this at least once in their lives, right?

I should be sleeping, but I'v got the itch

[click]

Commitment becomes what we aspire to

Is someOne worth it?

Claro que si

I found that one

Can I wait

Yes

Last time calling me baby

A bird is carrying me to His embrace.

O

Gary never thought that he would find another partner after Craig passed away. But a few months ago he met Patrick on Zoosk and that never began to turn into maybe into a you should never say never. They clicked on multiple levels from music taste to values. Even without meeting in person Gary could tell that Patrick's personality complimented his own. They had the same dry humor, distaste of poultry pop culture, and sexual proclivities. Now Gary was no fool, nor was this his first time at the rodeo; the grey veil of the internet had been lifted from his eyes years ago, and he was not going to commit belief to anything (even the knockout pictures that they had exchanged). Yet, against his better grasp of reality he found himself falling for Patrick. So he arranged for Patrick and himself to meet at a local 'hole in the wall' gay bar that was in between both of their houses. One of those places that has enough people in it to be a bar but not enough to be a club. Not to mention that they decided to meet on a Tuesday. The following is a dictation of their encounter.

Gary: Patrick.

Patrick: Hey.

Gary: Thank God

Patrick: Excuse me.

Gary: I spent the past 5 minutes hoping that you weren't that fat guy at the corner of the bar.

Patrick: Really?

Gary: Yeah, I mean you know the shit guys pull.

Patrick: No, I get it. No worries I'm real.

Gary: You look great.

Patrick: So do you.

Gary: Thank you,

Patrick: So it's nice to put a face with all of the pics.

Gary: Yeah.

Patrick: So how are you?

Gary: I'm better now. So do you like the bar.

Patrick: Yeah, I've heard about this place but I've never come, good choice.

Gary: Can I get you a drink? I already got my beer.

Patrick: I see that.  G&T.

Gary ordered the gin and tonic and hands it to Patrick

Patrick: Thanks. You know I have to be honest, I was beginning to think that we were never going to meet.

Gary: Yeah, I'm a little slow to move in that department.

Patrick: It's ok. I know you've gone through some stuff, so I just decided to be patient.

Gary: Thanks. You're really hot.

Patrick: Look if we are going to do this. Let's get one thing straight. I know you look good and I look good as well. Let's not waste a bunch of time licking each others asses by buttering each other up. I'd rather tell you that I just want to get out of here as quickly as possible and into one of our beds.

Gary: See that's why I like you. No bullshit. Plus I agree with you. I spent all day planning how I was going to undress you.

Patrick: Ditto.

Gary: So what are we waiting for?

Patrick set his drink down on the bar and moved so their bodies were up against one another

Patrick: You tell me.

Gary moved and they embraced into a long kiss then Gary felt something poke him in a wet gushy way. He felt light headed and felt a wet spot on his stomach begin to seep through his button down shirt. Sometimes it takes awhile to realized that you've been stabbed. Patrick pulled himself out of the kiss and kept his mouth to Gary's ear.

Patrick: See the funny thing is my wife was the one that picked you out. Hell awaits you faggot.

Tell your stupid partner when you see him that he meant nothing to you but the hopes of fucking some random guy you met on the internet.  

Gary tried to reply but all came out was blood. Owen the bartender had been watching out the corner of his eye and even though he was bi-polar he had no trouble purchasing a handgun last week. He took it out and planted a bullet into Patrick's temple.